Okay, Stop Keesing Me

Wow, it's been almost two weeks since I last wrote! Haha, whoops! Probably you checked for updates every day and then cried a single tear with some blood in it when you saw that there were none. Well, blood-cry no more, for I am about to enlighten you on another surprising aspect of Latin American culture.

I have things I SHOULD be writing about-- for example, our recent adventure to Tierra Santa, a theme park based on-- what else?? -- the life of Jesus:

"Visit Jerusalem in Buenos Aires all year long!"

Golgotha: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

 

 

Ohohoho TRUST me, there will be a separate post for this strange, strange day.

BUT I enjoy writing culture posts like ONE THOUSAND MILLION TIMES MORE than writing about actual things we did, so I'm going to subject you to some interesting facts you didn't necessarily want to know on the topic of:

 

SMOKING

(For "How to be smokin hott," talk to me in person.)

(For "HELP HELP I AM ACTUALLY SMOKING BECAUSE MY BODY IS ON FIRE," then stop drop and roll, you dunce.)

 

This may be an interesting lesson for both my U.S. readers and my Latin American readers, because it's a very subtle difference between our cultures. You might never notice it, but when you do it says a lot about who we are. 

 

Background information: Cigarette smoking is VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY common in Argentina. Smoking was common in the U.S. about 30 years ago but is now generally seen as "uncool."  I don't know a lot of people who smoke, even in college, and it's actually kinda looked down on now.

 

Here comes the part that is going to be surprising to my U.S. friends: Cigarette packs in Argentina are REQUIRED BY LAW to carry a prominent anti-smoking photo and message. No matter what brand you buy, it's gonna look something like this:

 

"SMOKING CAUSES HEART AND RESPIRATORY DISEASES"

 

One side has this stark warning, while the other displays a delightful supporting photo:

 

"THE CONSUMPTION OF TOBACCO CAUSES HEART ATTACKS"

"Comfortable there in your hospital bed? That's good, because we're going to take your picture now."

 

I had never seen something like this before, so I began collecting empty cigarette boxes and photographing them for posterity:

 

"Healthy lung/ Smoker's lung"

"SMOKING CAUSES DEATH BY ASPHYXIATION"

"TOBACCO SMOKE IS A CAUSE OF SICKNESS AND DEATH"

"EACH CIGARETTE INTOXICATES"

(I'm not sure what this is supposed to be a picture of, but there's a bright red arrow. Bright red arrow= BAD.)

"SMOKING CAUSES CANCER"

"SMOKING TAKES YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE"

"HALF OF SMOKERS DIE FROM TOBACCO"

(Please note the freaking BODY TAG)

"CIGARETTES DAMAGE YOUR SEX LIFE"

Ahahaha, I like this one

 

"SMOKING CAN CAUSE AMPUTATION OF LEGS"

 

 

And my personal favorite:

"SMOKING IN THE HOME HURTS CHILDREN"

This is what we Communications Majors call "a pathos appeal."

 

 

Now the part that may be surprising to my Latin American friends: Cigarette companies in the United States don't reeeeeally have to put these graphic warnings on their products. They do have to say it causes cancer, but they just put one sentence in a little box on the side of the package. It's barely noticeable. For that reason, these pictures of lungs and sad children were kinda surprising to me when I got here.

 

 

The strange part is that the United States seems to have a much lower number of smokers right now than Argentina, and we don't have the scary pictures. Why is that? What's the difference? My curiosity has been aroused. Aaaaaaaaand that is the last time I will ever use the word aroused in a blog post.

 

Anyway, just something weird that I noticed. Hope you enjoyed some pictures of skanky lungs.



Stinky River City

For your convenience:

I. Introduction: Puerto Madero
II. When we were suddenly on a boat
III. When everything was more boring than anticipated
IV. When going off the beaten path was, like always, the best idea and why didn't we just start with that anyway
V. Round Two: Brazilian Style
VI. Conclusion


I. Introduction: PUERTO MADERO

I have been keeping a list of stuff I want to see and do while here in Buenos Aires, and we've been doing pretty well so far at economically checking things off. By "economically" I mean usually I don't pay more than bus fare and one meal for an adventure.

If you peep really close, you can kind of see "Madero" at the bottom of the list

 

We had heard tell of Puerto Madero several times; it was purported to be a sort of tourist heaven, filled with high class shops and beautiful architecture. Unfortunately, it turns out that what Rachel and I consider beautiful architecture (old, graceful European-style buildings) is not what attracts The Tourists. What attracts The Tourists is apparently:

ooooohhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhh

 



According to hearsay (as in, I heard Rachel say it), Puerto Madero didn't exist fifteen years ago. As the river shrank, Buenos Aires continued expanding.... and somebody decided that putting an ultra-fancy district on the newly exposed land would trick everyone into coming within three miles of the stinky river.


II. We're on a Boat

As we began our adventure, a pirate-style ship docked in the river caught our attention. We like old things, so we gazed admiringly upon its masts and ropes and stuff. Then we realized it was a museum, and for two pesos (a measly 25 cents) you could walk its aged planks and see things like:

 

A group of full-grown men wearing almost the exact same outfit

Maybe they were a bowling team?

if my drivers ed instructor could see me now, he would DEFINITELY slam on that special little passenger-side brake.

Weapons of mass-- what was I saying? I keep getting distracted by how frighteningly genuine Rachel's expression is.

President Sarmiento (he's the one on the left)

(Whoops I mean right)

(Haha it's like drivers ed all over again)

(Haha why do I keep talking about drivers ed)

(No one knows)

(Secrets)

So ropey

Majestic Argentine flag in background, Majestic Students in middleground, Majestic Selfie Arm in foreground

 

 

III. This part is so boring you shouldn't even read it

 

We got to the part that was built to appease The Tourists. It was boring and expensive.

 

(Apologies to Marcello, who liked it)

 

IV. Choose your own adventure

As always, we forged our own trail mostly because we didn't know where we were going. The less touristy section of Puerto Madero included some rare gems. Like topaz. And amethyst.

 

And this:

LOOK HOW GOOD I AM AT LOOKING WINDBLOWN

 

The other interesting part of our off-road adventures was a very strange swampside ampitheatre-boardwalk combo. We keep finding these places that look like they were once meant for some grand purpose, but have since been left to fend off weeds and vagrant poop.

It sort of had a feeling of melancholy... like a forgotten civilization...

Of course Rachel had to climb on the sunken thing

What is this and can Hayao Miyazaki make a movie about it?

 



Deserted places are eerily beautiful.

 

 

V. We were convinced to return.

Some days later, the magical Power of Brazilian Friendship drew us back, this time to Costanera-- Puerto Madero's ecological reserve.

 

Secret Identity: Marcello

Strength: Tri-lingual

Weakness: Ketchup

 

Despite the day being sunny and warm (i.e. not ideal bug weather), we were accosted by mosquitoes to the point that we shrunk into tiny shriveled bags of skin, having been drained of our lifeblood.

 

The colorless mass below is my leg. When I got home I found that someone had digitally altered my skin so that each bug bite was highlighted by a bright red, poorly-drawn circle. Hopefully this will wear off in a few days.

 

 

 

 

VI. Conclusion

 

The end.

 

 



That Love Connection, Tho

Sometimes you go into something fearing the worst. I expected to spend most of my time in Argentina fighting my fears, barely hanging on, and regretting my decision to try this study-abroad thing again.

When I decided to go through with it-- when I actually said goodbye to my family, walked through airport security and got on the plane, I thought I was going to have to just "make it through" for four months.

I don't think I've ever been so wrong before :)

It feels like an appropriate time to talk about what is probably THE BEST EVER THING about Argentina:

 

Iglesia Evangelica Bautista de Barrio Norte!
(P.S. for non-Spanish speakers that's "Evangelical Baptist Church of Barrio Norte")

 

 

 

At first this flattering picture may seem unrelated to the previous sentence fragment. However, if you look closer, you will see that this photo OBVIOUSLY takes place in a church. I mean, look at that glowy light. The tan walls. THOSE TAN WALLS ARE SO HOLY, MAN.

 

Before winging my way o'er the majority of a continent sixtysomething days ago, I remember telling my mom I felt confident that God would provide us with a church near to the residence. I just had no idea it would be SO FREAKING AWESOME.

 

SO.

 

FREAKING.

 

 

Here are some of the reasons for its glorious stand-outness:

 

1. Like actually probably around half of the people that go here are Brazilian. (And basically everyone else is from Chile, Colombia, El Salvador, Costa Rica...) Sometimes (*coughcough* all the time) when we're chilling together, people will spontaneously burst out speaking in Portugese instead of Spanish. While these two languages share mebbe 40% of their vocabulary, it still mostly sounds like gibberish to me and I can't really understand it. However, there are so many Brazilian attendees that some native Spanish-speakers are picking up Portugese. I like this :) To me, it shows compassion, concern, and interest in the culture of others.

 

OMGGGG, SO MANY BRAZILIANS

 

(also pictured-- 1 Colombian, 1 Chilean, 1 Argentine, 1 Ukranian)

 

 

2. There are activities almost every day of the week-- feeding the homeless, inviting neighbors in for English classes (which I will soon be teaching EEEEEK), meeting for prayer-- and I think this demonstrates a liveliness in the church that goes above and beyond simply going to a service on Sunday morning. This is what the church is about!!! Getting out there into the world!

 

Also it's about eating.

 

 

wow dude do i make that face all the time

 

why did nobody ever tell me

 

probably they did

 

and i ignored them

 

 

3. They are FAMILY. The vast majority of attendees are not from Argentina; they are studying or working here, sometimes planning to live in Buenos Aires for years. As most of us don't have our families with us, the church has become our family. I couldn't tell you how many hours I've spent with these guys. I have never, never felt SO comfortable away from home SO fast. They are kind and caring, generous and talented and intelligent, funny (like REALLY funny) and welcoming.

 

 

They're my brothers and sisters and good friends.

The Spirit of God is working in this place like I've never seen it before.

 

WOOHOO vaguely blurry photos are DA BESHT

 

Please note I was attacked from behind.

#haveyounoshame

#murderthebirthdaygirlwhydontyou

If I was a cake, I would be this cake.

Only one of us actually needs those glasses.

Ugh, Bethany, stop being so pale, it's gross

I got so many bug bites this day that I can't count them. Probably I contracted yellow fever.

PSYCH I GOT THE VACCINE LOLOLOLOL

Oh no I ruined a beautiful picture of Mauricio for the sake of humor!

From left to right: Boring, Brazilian, Colombian

 

THIS IS WHAT I WILL MISS THE MOST.